#Viktor is aroace & no one can convince me otherwise

[corvidaequeer]

[sedgewick-gayble]

This is me slightly editing and reposting my ramble from a reblog so it actually shows up on the LD tag lol. Hopefully it's more sensical also

I'm so abnormal about those two old gay men. Okay. Listen to me

I can only envision them actually loving each other in the context of it being silent and unspoken acts of devotion and service that carry an emotional, intimate weight they're both aware of but never say or comment on out loud; to themselves, to eachother, or to anyone else--because if they address it then it becomes so much more real and neither of them can handle that. Otherwise all it is is desire, whether it be one-sided from Mordecai or mutual (I prefer it being mostly if not fully one-sided bc it's more angsty and that gives me life but it could go either way)

Mordecai is emotionally and romantically repressed to all hell and back. The comment Tracy made about him being asexual 'either naturally or out of his own choice' is particularly notable here, as it could totally be interpreted as him purposefully ignoring and suppressing both his sexual and romantic desires just as much as him just being ace/aroace AND THIS CONNECTS to vikdecai because he does so because he doesn't want to admit to himself he's in love. He doesn't want to admit to himself he's in queer love. And he doesn't want to admit to himself that he's in queer love with his coworker, Viktor, who's one of the closest and most trustworthy people in his life, who's bond with him could easily shatter if he finds out and rejects him

Once he can properly identify what he's feeling and figures out he has said desires, ESPECIALLY towards Viktor, he becomes more hostile and argumentative with him to compensate for that and convince himself into thinking he never felt that way. See paragraph above

BUT bottling up his emotions in such a way backfires for him and in a moment of weakness he releases all of that pent up need and they make out or fuck or whatever and then pretend it never happened afterwards and this cycle repeats until mordecai leaves for marigold .

That's how I view vikdecai. Two men who bury their feelings deep down and probably deal with some internalized homophobia who want eachother carnally and hate themselves for it (in the case of viktor it's because he has a wife and kid and in mordecais case he views it as weakness and a flaw to have an emotional soft spot for somebody, especially a coworker in such a dangerous field of work)

AND THEN there's more complications once you tie in the similarities and contrasts between his relationship with viktor and his relationship with nico BUT I'm not making much sense already anyways kgdcrhgdvc